A Poem on the Website of
the Red Dirt Writers Society


To Red Ryder
by D. J. Russell (May 2007)


I munch thoughtfully
On my sandwiches;
I wipe the sleep
From my bleary morning eyes.

And I donít know why...

Old Robin Williamsí jokes
Still make me laugh aloud;
Meg Ryan still makes butterflies
Dance like angels in my stomach.

And I donít know why...

I honestly donít understand
How I can still breathe,
Still savor the little things.
How do they not fall
Helplessly into the void
That she left behind?

I can feel,
Though I pray I could not,
The meat of my heart
Ripping slowly in two
When I think of her not being here.

Forget the pain of others ó
This is my grief and I own it.
I pay for it with my mourning wail
And each bedtime sob.
And yet ó
I survive through the next day
Smiling,
Cooking,
Playing,
Loving,
Remembering.

And I donít know why.


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