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The Note
Do you ever ask yourself “what if?” I found myself
asking that very question when my world was turned upside down. Okay, just a
friendship was tested, and by “tested” I mean on the verge of not being on my
friend’s list. But it felt upside down. You see, I found this note in my
friend Kate’s pencil pouch. She saw that I found it and I was getting ready to
read it, but she just looked away and kept talking to our other friend, Bell.
While Bell and Kate were talking, I read the note. I didn’t really understand
it very well, probably because the note was the middle of a conversation, but I
did think it was about Kate’s brother. At lunch, John found the note and asked if I had
seen it. I said, “Yes.” He could tell I didn’t understand because he asked me
if I knew who it was about. I said, “I think it’s about Kate’s brother.” He
said, “No, it’s about Kate.” I felt my face drop. It meant that Kate might have
been raped and was probably doing drugs. I felt like crying. I decided I needed to talk to Kate. She seemed to be
avoiding eye contact with me and kept trying to change the subject, but I
wouldn’t let her. She seemed to be off
in “la la land.” You know that feeling you get when you
know something, and you don’t know what to do with the information that you
have? Well, it’s horrible; it eats you up ‘til all you can do is cry. You ask
yourself, “What do I do?” That’s what I asked myself, God, my mom, my sister,
and two of my best friends. The conclusion was obvious and painful. I would do
what was best for Kate and live with the consequences. I decided to tell the school’s resource officer.
Bell and I made an appointment to speak to him. Kate, Bell, and I all had our first class together, which is
where we were when the resource officer called Bell and me out to talk to him.
We were gone most of the hour. When we got back everyone looked at us
strangely. We had to write witness statements, telling him everything we knew,
and give names. I knew the resource officer had spoken to her after
third hour. Normally we walked to lunch together, but that day she didn’t walk
with Jasmine and me. I figured Kate was mad; I knew she would be. I just kept
telling myself that I did what was best for her in the long run. A week went by without talking, at least face-to-face.
We talked about it through e-mail, but she seemed to say something different
each time. This created more problems. I could not allow her to continue to lie
about what was going on, not to me, not to herself and not to the others
involved. Finally, we were able to talk about it, and our
friendship grew again. I struggle with trusting Kate now; it’s hard to tell if
she is lying to me again. I know she can lie without me knowing because she did
it for so long. Sometimes I try to pretend that none of this happened, but I
can’t. There’s
still that voice in me asking, “Did I do the right thing?” My head says, “You
did what you could. You prayed about it, and it will all work out the way
Heavenly Father wants it to.” So I go day by day, week by week, year by year,
in hope that some day she will tell me the whole story with all her heart and
all the truth. I went into this knowing
that I could lose one of my oldest friends, and I will go through it knowing
that somewhere down the road I could still lose her. Part of our friendship was
lost when the trust was lost, that’s what friendship is. Of course, I never
want to lose her friendship, but she needs to see that this is hurting her and
the people who love and care for her. Someone had to tell her; so I did. If it
means losing her friendship then I will make that sacrifice for her. If I knew
the moment I read that note that I was going to lose her as a friend, I would
have done it all the same. |
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